请帮助修改一篇初一英语作文

请英语高手为我女儿指点一下她的自我介绍

原文 Hello,everyone。I'm Lucy,I'm a girl,I'm six years old,I'm a student。I have a happy family。There are three people in my family,my father,my mother and me。 My father is a worker ,he is very strong;my mother is a teacher ,she is very clever;I'm their sweet heart。 I like drawing and playing badmin...全部

  原文 Hello,everyone。I'm Lucy,I'm a girl,I'm six years old,I'm a student。I have a happy family。There are three people in my family,my father,my mother and me。
  My father is a worker ,he is very strong;my mother is a teacher ,she is very clever;I'm their sweet heart。
  I like drawing and playing badminton。I believe "No pains ,no gains"。I have a dream---I　wish the world is peaceable　 呵呵，首先，一个6岁的小朋友能这样写已经不错了，不用强求她用太深的词汇，但是如果文章出现太多的I'm就会显得冗繁，不如这样写 Hello, everyone。
   I'm Lucy, and I'm six years old now。(这个student不知道她上学没有哦，因为把学生加在这里显得与前后文联系不紧密。) I have a happy family。
   There are 3 people in my family, my father, mother and I(这里不需要用宾格)。 My father is a worker, he is very strong; and my mother is a teacher, she is very clever。
   And I'm the sweet heart in their eyes。(那样说有点别扭)。 Drawing pictures and playing badminton are my hobbies。
  (前后对应,句式也多样一些。) I believe "No pains, no gains。" I have a dream, that is(不知道她是要交给老师看，还是读给大家听，用that is更加地道一点。
  )I wish the world will be peaceful。（额，peaceable好像不太对，而且是“希望”后面用将来时更好一点。）。收起