有没有好的英语短文?

    现实忠告： Welcome to the Real World欢迎加入现实社会 Congratulations,Graduates。Welcome to the Real World, where here ain’t no spring break and Christmas vacation starts the night of December 24 and ends shortly after the wrapping ***** comes off。
     祝贺诸位毕业生们！现实社会欢迎你们的到来。在这里，没有春假，圣诞假期从12月24日才开始，而到礼物盒打开后不久就结束了。 It is a paimful course that you are about to take。
  The lessons come unannounced。  But to aid you upon your entry into the Real World,A few of your predecessors have complied some sage advice。
  Heed the following words well。  They will do you much more good than all those French adverbs。
   等待你们的，是一门另人头痛的课程。课程总会不期而至，但为了在你们踏入社会时能助一臂之力，有些先行者总结了一些饱含智慧的建议。好好留意下面这些话，他们可是比所有的法语副词对你们更有帮助。   In the real world: 在现实社会里： Never answer an advertisement seeking a “liberal roommate。
  ”You probably are not that liberal。 不要去应征某些寻找“开明室友”的广告。  你可能还没有那么开明。 Having a drink with the boys every night after work is a bad idea。
  Notice that your boss doesn’t do it 。That’s why he’s the boss and they’re the boys。   每天下班后跟一群伙计去喝酒并不是什么好主意。
  你会注意到你的上司不会这样做。这就是为什么他是上司而那些人是伙计的原因了。 Never play racquetball with an old guy who has played handball for 40 years。
    He will destroy you。 不要和已打了40年球的老家伙打壁球，他会让你惨败的。 Buy an alarm clock that works。 买一只性能良好的闹钟。
   They aren’t kidding when they say,”Wash whites separately。  ” 当人们说：“把白色的义务分开洗”时，他们并非在开玩笑。
   Never date a woman whose father calls her “Princess。”Chances are she believes it。 他要和父亲称其为“公主”的女孩子约会，很可能她真是相信自己是公主。
     Never date a man who still goes shopping with his mother。 不要和一个还在和母亲一起逛街的男人约会。 “Heat included” does not mean “Heat guaranteed。
  ” “包括暖气”并不意味着保证有暖气。   Life insurance is best for married people;otherwise ,the chief beneficiary is the life-insurance company。
   人寿保险最适合于已婚者，否则，人寿保险公司会是主要的受益者。   Eat good meals。Greasy burgers take their toll。 吃有益于健康的饭菜。
  吃油腻的汉堡是有代价的。 If you don’t like your job,quit。Otherwise,shut up。 如果你不喜欢你的工作，要么辞职，要么闭口不言。   If you get invited to a wedding ,send a gift。
  Otherwise,don’t expect a crowd when your turn comes。 如果你应邀去参加婚礼，送一份礼物。否则，不要期望在你结婚时会宾客盈门。   There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven。
   世界上还没有会自动清洁的炉灶。 Be nice to the little people。You’re still one of them。 对小人物要友善，因为你便是其中之一。   Young women,just because a man looks like you* **ther doesn’t mean he thinks of you as a daughter。
  Young learn which finger gets the ring。   对年轻的姑娘来说，一个男人看起来有点像你的父亲并不意味着他把你看作是他的女儿。年轻的人才知道把戒指戴在哪个指头上。
   No one sells a car because it runs too well。 没有人是因为他的汽车跑得太好而把它卖掉的。 At some point in your life ,you* **mily will be all you have。
    Treat them right。 在你生命的某些时刻，你的家庭将是你所拥有的一切，好好对待家庭的成员。 Decide now what you want on your tombstone。
  ”He had a job that paid well but he hated it” or “He enjoyed his work。  ” 现在就决定在你的墓碑上是写上“他曾经有一份报酬丰厚但却另人生厌的工作”，还是写上“他喜欢他的工作”。
   Never get married simply because you figure it is time to get married 。Get married because you wat to live with someone for the rest of your life,including days off and vacations。
     不要仅仅是因为觉得该是结婚的时候便结婚，你结婚是为了想要和一个你愿意与他白头偕老的人共同生活，包括休息日和假期。 Everyone is lonely at times。
  Learning to deal with it is part of growing up。   每个人都有孤独的时刻。学会怎样对待它是成长所必经的。 The only thing worse than asking people how much money they make is telling them how much you make。
   惟一比问别人挣多少钱更坏的事是告诉别人你挣多少钱。   Nice people get roaches too。 好人也会碰上蟑螂。 A$15 haircut hardly ever lasted as long as a $5 haircut。
   花15美元理的发几乎从不比花5美元理的发保持得长久。 Dirty laundry never goes away。   脏衣服从不会自己跑掉。 Two of the largest groups of people in the world are those who almost went to law school and those who are going to write a book someday。
     世界上最多的两种人是那些当年差点考上法律学院的人和那些打算在某一天写一本书的人。 Never trust a landlord to make improvements after you have moved in。
   不要相信房主在你搬进去住后还会做什么修缮。   If you screw up, admit it。 如果你把事情弄糟了，就要勇于承认。 。